When Your Loved One Has Anxiety
I am guessing because you are reading this that someone you care about has anxiety. Maybe you want to help them or just understand them better. Maybe you are fed up with dealing with their anxiety.
It is very difficult for someone that does not have significant anxiety to understand. It seems so simple. Why don’t they just stop thinking about it?
It seems simple but it is not. For an anxious person that is like you standing in a room with an elephant and telling yourself not to think about the elephant.
When you are thinking or telling them “Just stop thinking about it” you are kind of right. Not thinking about the anxiety will help it to go away. But it is back to that elephant in the room. How do you remove the elephant? Encouraging them to get counseling to learn how anxiety works and how to reduce it can help them.
You can help your loved one to improve by making attempts to understand what they are going through, being empathetic, and supportive.
Here are some things for you to find out:
What are common anxiety symptoms?
What are your loved one’s anxiety symptoms (mental and physical)?
Do they know their triggers or situations that increase their anxiety?
Do they have panic attacks?
What do they think you can do to help them?
It is hard for that person that is overwhelmed with anxiety to truly believe it can get better or know how to go about doing that. Having empathy and attempts at understanding from their loved ones can be very helpful and give them the strength to deal with the anxiety.
Acknowledge to your partner that their worries are their worries and are real to them. Don’t minimize their feelings.
Show them support without enabling them. You might help them with an anxiety producing chore but don’t do it all yourself. If they do not do the chore at all it may increase the phobia/anxiety long term.
Gently challenge them about irrational beliefs. (Don't be surprised if they say they know they are irrational but still have those thoughts.)
Encourage them to seek treatment/counseling. They may tell you it is hopeless or have fears about addressing it with a counselor. Keep encouraging. There is hope.
Give them positive affirmations. Hearing the good things about them can help even if they deny what you are saying.
You are only seeing part of their anxiety. That is the part they are willing to show or have lack of control over and are not able to hide. There is likely a lot of anxiety they are hiding. Imagine an iceberg. The top is the anxiety you see. Underneath is a whole other world of things that are underlying that anxiety (past trauma, low self esteem, abandonment…)
Anxiety is difficult to deal with and it is even worse if the affected person feels others do not understand and appear not to care. Reading this and talking to your person with anxiety is a step to helping them with healing.
Saving Grace Telehealth Counseling
Karen Baum MA, LPCC-S
Working through secure video for those in Ohio
Text or call: 419.277.4355
WWW.SavingGraceTC.com
Email: Karen@ SavingGraceTC.com
